Farewell, Adieu, Dear Nagging Wife by Stephanie Scarborough Farewell, adieu, dear nagging wife, To war I have to go And leave the wretched married life I've come to hate and know. How merrily I'll forward march So I can quickly flee From, "Tell me what you're thinking, hon" And, "Sweetie, talk to me." With carnage here and corpses there I'll shout, "Hip, hip, hooray!" As I walk through the landmine fields Free from tea and ballet. My Oprah-watching days are gone, There's lightness in my heart As I'm shot, stabbed, kicked and bombed And amply torn apart. Farewell, my dear. I'll miss you—NOT! Don't worry about me. I'll be at war, in Hades, hell— In utter ecstacy. © 2002 by Stephanie Scarborough. All rights reserved. Home