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after John Everett Millais’s painting
Her river to immortality
started in a bathtub. In 1851,
Elizabeth Siddal, all of 19,
floated in the bathtub
for hours on end
while having her dress,
her body, her face carefully
rendered on the canvas
in front of her. Mr. Millais
had spent months denoting
every color, every shade
of a grassy spot
shimmering off Hogsmill River.
Satisfied, he reread how Ophelia,
having gone mad
upon her father’s death,
crazy with love for Hamlet,
bitter for never getting
anything she wanted out of life,
chose to collapse asleep
in a river, hovering
between the green lips
before being swallowed
whole. Miss Siddal’s dress
was festooned with all
the virtues of pastel blue.
As instructed, she held
up her hands, flowers
left astray around her.
She kept her eyes half-lidded
with life and dream.
Each day was the same.
Soon it was winter.
Mr. Millais left oil lamps
under the tub to keep the water
warm. He got so lost
in the drama of executing
a perfect brush stroke—
the right angle, the perfect amount
of pressure against canvas—
that he forgot all about her
when the water turned cold.
She nearly died. At 32,
when she finally did die
of laudanum, she’d endured
miscarriage, depression,
and the many betrayals
by another painter she’d married
(Dante Gabriel Rossetti,
if you must know).
No one remembers this fact
when strangers like us
gaze upon her face forever
beatified in oil, beseeching
salvation from the fire below.